UGH! Why can't I just be super human and be the best service sub/slave ever, like all the time? Probably because I am just a measly human. Ha! I know I am not the only one that feels this way at times? But I also know that when I am feeling this way, I feel like I am the only one that's ever felt this way...if that makes any sense.
But I am here to tell you, you are not alone. Like, at all. Even if it's just the two of us, know that there is someone out here that feels exactly what you are feeling. Sometimes I am on top of my domestic duties before they are even needed. I mean like, mopping clean floors, on top of things. Then there are other times when life is kicking my ass, and I do not even have time to think about my "chores" more less complete them. And, I have learned to allow myself some grace. Most times when I am failing (in my head), Sir doesn't even notice. And the times when He does notice, He understands why I have slipped up a bit, and creates a plan for me to get back on track, rather than punish me for being human. The point is, get it out of your head and talk to your D type about it. It's most likely not as bad as you've made it seem in your mind. And, if it is actually as bad as it seems, create a workable plan to fix it. And lend yourself some mercy.
We often are hardest on ourselves. We are quicker to forgive others than we are to think that we are deserving of our own forgiveness. We're going to fuck up. No we don't want to, but we do...we ALL do. Even that "perfect" slave that belongs to that "perfect" D-type that everyone knows and adores.